That singular reaction started a thought process that I'd been trying to avoid for at least 2 years: Homeschooling. Suddenly, I felt like maybe there was a reason why I gravitate toward blogs written by homeschoolers, and why I enjoy planning learning activities so much. Having been bogged down in a constant struggle with him, a method of reconnecting with Winston in a meaningful way that we both thrive on was an imminent option. Storytime, during projects, and planned activities were our only saving graces during most of the summer. Would homeschooling allow those peaceful times to expand and improve our relationship? Also, keeping Wednesday home and teaching him things in a setting where he felt comfortable, instead of him weeping at school drop off, came as a welcome relief, even if it's not quite time yet.
So I got on Amazon until the wee hours of the morning and searched through books. Then I went to the library, list in hand, and checked out everything I could on homeschooling. I started reading, and encountered far more positives than negatives in the books I'd found. There was only one instance when I just couldn't finish a section for the principle of it.
Then one day, I happened to be on Facebook when my former voice teacher mentioned spending the afternoon doing math with her 7 year old. Remembering that my mother had said she was homeschooling I sent her a message almost immediately. Was she homeschooling? Yes. Could I talk with her about it and ask questions? Sure!
It was fantastic. Someone I knew as a teacher and friend had already been teaching her boys at home for three years. I asked her everything I could think of, kept reading, and then asked more questions. What did her typical day look like? How did she teach part-time and homeschool simultaneously? What method did she use? Curriculum? EVERYTHING.
I looked up everything she said online and had another brain flash: One of my best friends from High School was homeschooled until she was a freshmen! Again, I very quickly sent her a message and hoped for the best. I wanted her impression now, of how being taught at home affected her. She responded right back, and had nothing but excellent things to say about her experience. As one of the most artistic, creative, and expressive people I know, this was very exciting.
But as this break between the end of camp and the start of school stretched on, I got nervous. Winston loves school, and is in a very good environment right now. Could I really take him out of there and provide something even better? I had just started to think that maybe I was getting in over my head when I woke up in a panic Monday night.
There was a meeting for the parents at the boys school Tuesday evening. The bubble of our experimental "homeschooling" learning (I want to tell you more about this, I even have pictures!) was coming to a close, and school was about to start. I went to the meeting and left feeling pretty heart-broken. Hearing everything through my newly educated ears was so sad and worrisome. The main focus of the directors entire speech was money and not being late. As I sat reading, I saw that they even included the states guidelines for "healthy" lunches in the handbook! As a parent, I am already following Kosher rules (for the school), my own families dietary needs (husband is diabetic), and keeping in mind any food allergies that may be present in the boys' classroom. Please don't tell me them, to include "healthy soups" in lunches when there is a very clearly stated rule that they won't reheat anything for longer than a minute.
Sigh...
On top of all of that, the new director repeated to all of us that she'd had to reassure some parents that the could pick their children up early or only send them three days a week. This was really disturbing to me. We are talking about pre-school. It's not required, and we're paying for our kids to be there. Of COURSE we can pick up our kids early and send them when we deem appropriate!
Winston's teachers were awesome. They're well certified, in love with their jobs, and eager to teach. The assistant is actually my preferred person for him, but the main teacher worked with him last year quite a bit when one of his teacher's hurt her arm. But there was one thing that the head teacher said that just ruffled my feathers like nothing else. She mentioned wanting a better play kitchen for her classroom, and then that she wanted to make the little house next to it into a doll house. Up to here it was all fine. Then she said "for the girls". The kitchen, dress-up clothes, and house were "for the girls", while the carpet with roads on it (!!! not exactly exciting) and the train table were "for the boys". I think she must have gotten a look from more than one of us because she corrected herself and called it "dramatic play". This may not seem like a big deal, but Gosh Darnit if I haven't worked for my boys entire lives to teach them that it is ok to play however you want to. If you want to dress up? Then do it! If you want to imagine you're a chef, or cooking dinner, or changing a diaper, or a dancer then you are more than welcome. ...It just really ticked me off. I'm not interested in gender stereotypes AT ALL. My boys have trucks and wagons and trains and super hero toys, but they also have a play kitchen, a tea set, a baby sling, and dress-up clothes.
I'm going to send them this year, even though Wednesday weeps every time I mention it. He'll get two weeks to settle in and adjust. After that, if the crying continues I'm just pulling him out. I'm going to pick them both up before lunch everyday, and after nap, we are going to learn something fun everyday with Mama. Because when next year comes around, I think we're staying home.
I have a lot more that I'd like to write about when it comes to this decision, what others might think about our family, etc. So if y'all don't mind reading it I'd love to keep going in another post!
