Mother, Mother

I am turning into my Mother. The speed at which was pretty alarming last week. The tiny pieces of her I try to shove off all collected, and I suddenly realized that most of them are not that bad.

The overwhelming urge to put on a robe over my pajamas one day last week didn't feel like a conscious decision, it's just what you do in the morning! Never mind the only time I wear a robe is when I'm sick or freezing to death. So I wore my silky, garage sale, kimono robe while I made breakfast, and I felt more like an adult that I had in ages.

GrapeNuts Pudding. It seems very innocent, right? I wanted to make it 2 nights ago. The making, though, had to be spontaneous, for whatever reason, or it didn't count. So although I had purposefully bought any ingredients I was missing at the store, I didn't make it until the timing felt right. I thought I was making it because it was yummy, and fun for the boys. Not so, I tell you! The real reason came to me mid-stir.

I made GrapeNuts pudding because when I was little, at random but important times, my Mom made vanilla pudding from scratch. A reminder that we were together as a family, and that the other stuff wasn't important. Winston starts pre-school on Monday; The Mr. starts his first year as a tenure track professor. These are important times, and my mind took over instinctually.

We can take this even further though. I don't make the vanilla pudding my mother did because, although it was yummy, is isn't yummy enough to replicate through this parenting cycle I'm in. GrapeNuts pudding is a Paula Deen recipe. That is the surface reason it's been chosen on so many occasions. But underneath is the memory of sitting at my Grandmother's counter eating sweetened GrapeNuts for breakfast. Breakfast at Grandmother's house is a whole post itself, but the secret here is that sometimes, I would heat my grapenuts in the microwave and make them warm and yummy. I'll let you guess what Paula Deen's pudding tastes likes.

When I speak to my boys, sometimes I have to clear my throat and try again. The voice that comes out doesn't belong to me. It's not scary anymore, just a strange comfort I never expected. My mom and I wear the same shoes. They are different colors, of course, but still the same.


In all the outwardly physical ways I look like my father's family. My hair and my eyes are the same as my Mom's though. These other things, whether learned or inherited, are a connection to her I never thought I'd have.

Thanks Mom. I'm NOT wearing fuzzy slippers though, you can't make me!

Making Martha Proud

or pissed, depending.  My oldest child has developed the MUSTSCREAMALLTHETIME disorder.  So I thought a post of the things that I love right now would help put something more positive into the universe besides "Oh My Lord Will You Please Shut Your Mouth!".

Here goes:

• I love that the lovely Jewel Kilcher finally married her rodeo boyfriend Ty Murray.  I've always loved her.
• I am very much enjoying Rebecca.  It is so very well written that I can only read it in short spurts.  I have until Sept. 15 to finish and I should make it.
• Looking forward to the trip we are planning for the month of December.  I'll talk more about it when it gets closer, but we are taking our kids to some of our most favorite places.  Lots of daydreaming...
• The anticipation of finishing a scarf for Winston and a wash rag for Wednesday so I can start Chris's hat!  And HHB's friend's scarf (Hairy Hippy Brother, jsyk)!  So exciting to make actual useful objects!
• Pumpkin Pie Spice creamer for my coffee.  I justify the absurd nature of Halloween related objects in August by remembering that I actually grow pumpkins.  Very logical, right?
• That when a 6 year old at the grocery store said he was "Bigger" than Winston I pointed out that he was "older".  Then Winston got out of the cart to show him.  He was only about 2 inches shorter than the other kid and out weighed him by 10 lbs.  Ha!  Yes, he will be taller than me in first grade and I'll be proud then too!
• Wednesday now says, "Say sorry!" to Winston when he starts hollering "No No NaNONONO!" at him.  It's usually convincing enough to stop his big brother for at least a second.
• Twitter.  nuf said.
• These songs:  Better, Saints, and the "Crazy Mama Song"

Y'all have a great weekend.  Winston starts preschool on the 25th and I'll have time to write more focused entries then!

I cake is peace!

Pre-Oven yummy....

Pre-frosting Yummy...

Frosting....  Yummmmyyy.....

All Done Yummy.....

I made this for my 3 year old's last day of camp.  He had already given teacher gifts at the end of the first session he attended, but I wanted to do something.  He finished camp, and will start preschool, at the Jewish Community Center here in town.  His class and teachers ate this for dessert after lunch on the last day.

The recipe for the starlight cake and penuche frosting are from the Betty Crocker cookbook.  My mom has a pretty old copy and I have a re-issue of the original edition.  The recipes are in both, but slightly different.  My brother and I altered the recipe into it's current form when we were little.  If my parents left us at home for a date night, we usually baked something together.  It was so fun, even when we messed up.  There was a serious cookie incident that involved some of the most disgusting cookies I've ever seen or eaten!  We decided, when making this cake for my Mom's birthday one year, that we should add cinnamon apples.  It really makes the cake so much more moist and delicious.  Mama convinced us to use canned apple pie filing once when we made this for a party and it was awful.  You really should just cook about 3 regular apples down on the stove yourself.  Just add a little water, sugar, cinnamon, and lemon juice. 

Now, this is the cake I make for my parents, brother, and immediate family when I'm close enough during a birthday celebration.  If my brother is present, we go back into old roles and make it together like we have so many times.  This is (enter my real name here)'s Cake.  Which means the world to me.  I want to insert it more into my families traditions, so that my boys think of it that way too.

Maybe now it can be an end of the school year cake.  I need, however, to figure out how to make sure it's Kosher so everyone can enjoy it!

Weird Science

So most of the time when I cook it's pretty normal stuff. Mexican style, Italian flavors, general American, just regular food. I don't have recipes, but my family has a rotation of meals that works for us.

But last night I got a bug in my butt or something. I made the weirdest casserole I've ever concocted and it was SO YUMMY!

SO here's something like a recipe for anyone who cares or would like to gawk at my weirdness:

Brown 1.25 lbs of extra-lean ground beef. Add black pepper, dried onions, chili powder, tablespoon of grainy mustard and same of worstershistershire sauce as it cooks.

While that's cooking, chop one large clove of garlic and throw it into some olive oil. When it's smelling so very good add one box of thawed frozen chopped spinach. Let it cook for a while, add dried parsley and oregano, then one small can of tomato sauce (ours was so salt added).

Drain 2 cans of hominy. I had one can of yellow and one white.

Open package of cream gravy mix and follow directions for the package, except cook it into the ground meat.

Once that is done poor the meat mixture into bottom of a 9X13 (see? fancy! Ha!) casserole dish. Then evenly spread and plop (mmm) the spinach on top of that. Next, Sprinkled the 2 cans of drained hominy over the top.

Now, I had a bag of unopened catfish fry in my cabinet, but seasoned cornmeal or breadcrumbs would work just as well. I sprinkled small handfuls of that mixture on top of the whole dish until it look covered enough. It's all VERY technical around here...

Lastly, I shredded a whole bunch of cheddar cheese over the top. Oh, and my oven was preheated to 375.

After I put the casserole in I decided bumping the oven up to 400 would make the cheese crust-up more evenly, so that's what I did. It cooked for maybe half an hour and was ready. I let it sit on the counter around 5 minutes so it would stay together when I cut into it.

This reminded me a lot of a Mexican casserole my Grandmother makes, but with completely different ingredients!

It's strange and yummy. The End.

Maggie

We found out a few weeks ago that my husband's first girlfriend passed away. It was not a quiet gentle passing, and although I cried, The Mr. didn't. He said he knew it would happen as it did sooner or later. Her name was Margaret, and I loved her.

I'd never met her before, but it would be hard for me not to love someone who I know truly loved my husband for a short span of his life. Love goes backwards in my heart, I love him for all the time I hadn't found him as much as I love him now.

She was an artist, and we have quite a few of her pieces. The one above is my favorite. A woodcut of my husband done when they were about 19. It hangs above his dresser in our bedroom, another treasure.

I've always felt I needed to thank her and I never got the chance. They had spoken a few times since we were married and I'm sure the impression was there, but not solidly.

...

Thank you Margaret, for loving him and seeing him. I think we are the only two in the world. A small club, but you are an honored member. We won't forget you...

Jacob Have I Loved

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

You have a gift. The only people I worry about more than Jacob Black are my immediate family members. I purposefully didn't read Breaking Dawn last night so that I might get some sleep. Even so, I woke up at 4:15 dreadfully worried about what would happen to Jacob! I forced myself back into the bed without reading, knowing that if I'd picked up that book I wouldn't have slept another wink.

My mornings are pretty full: breakfast, a lunch, a backpack, 2 kids, a husband, myself, and a number of cats to get ready for the day. But when I'm reading one of your books I CAN'T sleep at night.

I realize Jacob is a fictional werewolf, and that ultimately I think Bella belongs with Edward. But my unconscious has forced me to switch teams somewhere between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. I am now firmly planted in "Team Jacob". It would help if my own husband weren't so tall and dark, and if I didn't have Native American blood in my own family. I've always been a vampire person, but this werewolf has changed everything.

Jacob has replaced Luis. That's kind of major! A teenage werewolf has replaced Brad Pitt as melancholy vampire.

I feel like a silly girl. And yet I'm perfectly happy squealing to my husband, who hasn't read the new book yet, about all the things I can't tell him. I'm very glad these books appeared now, and not when I was in junior high. I would have been a serious "Twi-hard" and hung posters and bought all of the music. Oh my...

To end let me just say thanks for giving this chubby mommy a taste of the giggles and sqees again. It's fun, but I need to sleep!

Sincerely,
MzEll

P.S. I apologize to anyone who has not read the Twilight books (but go get them, please! group insomina!).

P.P.S I do not like the actor chosen to play Jacob in the Twilight movie. He is neither tall nor Native American, so I have no picture to post!

Tell me

I have all of these post ideas drafted on here but I'm not sure I want to write about them anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas?

I've got weight loss/self image stuff

I've got singing

I've got husband/art/self history

See? Boring... Any thoughts? I'm thinking...

I have decided that Jennifer Mattern at breedemandweep is like my personal Tori Amos. I don't always understand everything she writes about, but it is all so thoughtful and clever and beautiful that I have to keep reading.

Almost forgot...

Contest is closed loves.  Let me go pick a winner....

Holy Guacamole!  Random.org just pick #1, which is the fabulous CP of 3Giraffes.  She's gonna flip!   AHHHH!  So there you go, CP wins.  I'm going to email her right now so she can pick her prize!

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

1 Timestamp: 2008-08-02 04:15:30 UTC

There, just so we know it really picked #1!   HAHAHAHA!

Hello

Today is my birthday....

I'm going to the spa...

Woah Dude...

Anyway, my Etsy contest ends tonight if anyone still wants to enter. Just scroll down a couple of posts to leave a comment about what your favorite piece of art might be.

I have presents for you guys!!! Sort of...

I joined the "Knitting 20th Century Novels" group through ravelry, and the moderator (Glenna, who is a fabulous knitter and writer!) is letting me post the reading list here too! So if any of you want to read along with us you can. They have already put together a reading schedule that we can use. It's a great list, and if you want to use the books as inspiration to do something crafty that would be even more fun! I can post links to the discussions here and if you do something crafty I can post pictures here, or I can ask Glenna if we can start a flickr group. Oh my, I'm so excited! I've not read a single book on this list!

The Books and Schedule:

Rebecca, by Daphne DuMaurier (August 1-Sept. 15)

The Name of the Rose, by Umberto Eco (Sept 15-Oct 31)

Catch-22, by Joseph Heller (Nov 1-Dec 15)

The Flame Trees of Thika, by Elspeth Huxley (Dec 15-Jan 31)

Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson (Feb 1-March 15)

The Wicked Pavilion, by Dawn Powell (March 15-Apr 30)

Midnight's Children, by Salman Rushdie (May 1-June 15)

The True History of the Kelly Gang, by Peter Carey (June 15-July 31)

Lolita, by Viktor Nabokov (Aug 1-Sept 15, 2009)

Also, I just found the Book Inscriptions Project through The Sheila Variations blog. I think this would be something fun for us to do as well! I have already thought of a couple of books that have inscriptions I could add, and it would give me an excuse to go the the antique stores down the street. SCORE! (I'll have to do a post about my vintage/antique book collection.)

"So that's what I got, don't start a riot, you'll feel it when the band gets hot" Sublime...

Couldn't help it! Have fabulous days...