Remember

I'm here blog!  See!  Writing!  Now stop hassling me, mkay?  

Anyway...

Today was a pretty good day.  The Mr. surprised me and offered to take all of us to breakfast.  I have a quite a fondness for breakfast in every sense of the word, so I cried a little.  Good tears, my invisible friends, good tears.

It being Memorial day it took three tries but we ended up at Golden Corral, which was perfectly good for our little family.  The boys got exactly what they wanted and The Mr. and I did pretty good ourselves.  We did some random driving around after that, I can't really remember.

The deal was that if Winston behaved while we were at breakfast then we would get to go to the beach this afternoon.  That is Winston's most favorite place in the world.  So after naps and some play time with the new kittens, we went to eat again (I know, FANCY).  We had great Mexican food at a place we ate at the first time for our 6th anniversary in April.   Serious negotiating was done to keep Winston in the booth until the end of meal, but he managed.  He got up once to "Go to the hole-station".  This is his word for a gas station.  Apparently he had to pee and was just going to take himself since he could see the bathroom sign.  Never mind the kid can't get his own pants down and peeter out to save his life.  He was very funny about it too.  All snooty mcsnootypants.  I took him and then we were off to the beach.

We had a fabulous time in the water.  The boys love the beach, and Winston got to go up in the sand dunes with The Mr. for the first time.  They saw a snake hole and "climbed a mountain" and talked about all the animals that depend on the sand dunes for food a shelter.  Very good trip.  

Once we were home all that energy saved up behaving to go to the beach was unleashed and Winston was a major bungholio.  BUT.  I keep trying to remember that I want him to feel comfortable acting that way around us for as long as possible.  I want him to know it's ok to be mad and extremely tired and cranky.  The Mr said, "I have unconditional love for you, Winston.  Even when you act all cranky and crazy.  Because I don't want you to grow up with bad self esteem and become a man slaughterer"  I said, "Say, ""Thank you, Papa!"" "  And Winston said all cheery and perky, "Thank you Papa for telling me that story!!"  It was hilarious invisible people.  That would all be a reference from Wild At Heart in case ya'll cared.  Young Nicholas Cage and Laura Dern.  

I actually remembered all day long that it was Memorial Day.  It felt heavy to me this year because of Ted Kennedy's recent diagnosis.  I heard him speak just a couple of months ago and he was so much everything you think he should be.  I just found out about Huckabee and Hilary's comment about Obama and Bobby Kennedy.  It hurts me that she would say those things, but what does she care?  God Bless her family, and the Kennedys and Obamas.  They are all important to our history regardless of what happens in November.  Hopefully Huckabee will disappear, along with Bush, eventually.  

That's all I've got for tonight.

No Idea What to Put Here..

Hi.

So, yesterday Winston let me hold him in my lap and rock him back to sleep at naptime. He's so big though that he had to prop his feet on the foot rest to he didnt slide out onto the floor. It was so precious. He inspires bad poetry. Wanna hear? Your invisible, so you don't get a vote! Here we go:

The weight of him holds me to the ground

reminds me- I am HIS mama, it's the reason I'm here

The Spirit of their father

The gravity of the First

the Trust of The Second

My angelface, my precious boy, my heart's continent

my life has...

Joy is sneaky.

TaDa! Did your brain melt a little bit? Mine did just trying to hold that dang thing in there until I wrote it down here. Should we have pictures too? Ok then!

Healing

I've been sick with some kind of stomach bug for 5 days.  Right now I obviously am feeling better or I wouldn't be writing, but it doesn't seem to last long( the feeling better that is).  I'm learning something through this though.  Or relearning.

My kids, they heal me.  When Winston takes my face in his hands and touches my cheeks, my eyes, my chin, my head...

Then he puts his head against mine and says, "Are you feeling better now Mommy?"  Of course I am.  How can I not.  Yesterday when I started to cry from the pain he asked me about my "owie".  This is the scar that used to be an actual owie that he remembers from when his brother was born.  

"Do you have an owie, Mommy?"  No honey, I have a scar my owie is all better now.  But I used to have an owie where you and your brother came out of my tummy.  "When you were born!  Like baby Jesus!  Remember?  And the angel's name is Mary!!!" 

He remembers all of everything I did to make Christmas mean something so much more than presents.  Even though we haven't found a church, his little spirit reminds me everyday that God is with us and in him and his brother.  

He heals me, and reminds me to listen.  Reminds he that it's ok to all lay in the bed with your heads close together and be still.  It's ok for Wednesday to nurse and nurse and nurse while we're laying down together.  

Seeing Wednesday's little face peeking over me while he nurses is one image I don't ever want to forget.  He reminds me that my body is still strong enough for my kids even when it's not strong enough for me.

When I was little my favorite part of being sick, if there is such a thing, was just to spend time with my Dad without a schedule.  To just have quiet time together.  I can rework that memory backwards, or something like that, and give my kids a more sincere form of myself while my body is healing.  

Friday Favorites

Winston:  This morning he walks into the bedroom and says "Mama can you take me go teetee?"  I ask him where his Papa is but he wants me to take him.  He waits for me to get up, hugs me, kisses me, hands me my glasses.  Then he takes my hand very gently and pulls me toward the bathroom.  It was the best wakeup.  I was needed and he wasn't cranky.  The best part though was getting hugs and kisses without asking.  My Sweet Boy.

Wednesday:  I bring the new kitten Octavio Littlefoot into the house and it chases the baby.  He runs and thinks the cat is gone then looks down and screams because The Cat Came Back!  OMG Mommy!  Ha!  Then I'm holding him in my lap and the cat tries to jump up in our chair with us and Wednesday starts to cry his poor pitiful cry (he is very happy, his cry breaks every one's heart)  and says "No No No Tat!  NOOOOOO TAAAAAAAT!"  Poor baby.  Scared to death of a kitten.  (then of course he watch the cat inside the play pen with him and never got upset).  

There are so many moments.  I want this blog to get going.  My goal now is 2 moments a day.  Just to start writing everyday.  Hopefully along with Twitter I can make it part of my routine.  

P.S.  

Random decision to write about my obsession with looking for books on Amazon.  When I need something mindless to do I go searching.  I have like 25 pages of books saved between my cart and my wish list.  It is the best!  I have an unnatural love for lists and books reviews as well so you can see how this activity could take up hours of the time I'm supposed to be sleeping at night.  My latest jags have been into newish poetry I'd like to read and books about the relationship between Judaism and Christianity.  I also love to find books for the boys there and then look them up with the online library catalog.  That way when we get to library I know exactly where I'm going and the 3 year old doesn't get too too bored (or LOUD or Wandery or you know 3-year-oldy).  

A big success recently in our house has been the Madeline books.  Winston loves them.  We watched the movie with real people first, then went to the library and found a bunch of books.  He loves Pepito and Miss Clevel and Genevieve.  I never read those books as a little girl so it's so fun for me to find them now.  (also please see Amalah definition of gender as per her newest Zero to Forty post).  This past week while my little brother was here we went to Half-Price books and I found a DVD with 2 episodes of the Madeline cartoon on them.  I think that was the best possible order for our multi-media Madeline madness.  He was mesmerized by the cartoon today at lunch. I think I actually did something right!  Yay Mama!

I only wish I new of more little boy characters who are as fun as Madeline, Eloise, and Olivia (besides Alexander, of course).  Aha!  More Amazon searching!  Onward Christian Soldiers, away!!

Hi, Self

Life is weird right now.  Winston is having a hard night.  He needs more love from more people.  He turns 3 on Saturday.  An actual party at the beach.  Please know how much you are loved, adored, cherished, wanted, absolutely everything you need to be.  

When Wednesday says sunshine, he says my name.  When we says sunglasses, he says Allah.  He is miraculous.  He is, however, slightly afraid of how the toilets flush at Barnes and Noble.  Whenever we get close to the bathroom he looks at me very nervously and says, "Tee tee?".  Like, please tell me we're just walking past there and not going in, Mama.  Silly boy.

Winston's favorite phrases, cat pee and pickled herring.  He is so funny.  Calling me Mom is hilarious.  As is wiping off my kisses.  I say, "You mean boy wiping off his Mama's kisses!"  And he just laughs and asks for more.

Odin sticks his index fingers out like little knives and yells "Beeeeee!" when you ask him what a bumblebee says.  He can't yet buzz.  

Thank you, God for these small people who I spend my days with.  They are my treasures and my love....